Of course we never know what life’s going to throw our way. But part of your job as a parent is to guide your child day to day, so his world is as predictable as possible. With your coaching, he will be prepared to manage the ups and downs of daily life.

Play-by-Play 
 

• Break things down into steps. “After our bath, we will put on pajamas, read a story, and go to bed.” This helps your child handle each step.
• Give advance warning before ending one activity and moving to the next. “We are leaving in two minutes.” Then, “Finish up. It is time to go.” You can also use a timer with older children to help them monitor the passing of time.
• Do some things the same way each time. Routines help make your children’s world feel more safe and predictable. 
• Know your player. Not all kids are the same. Not every day is the same for each child.  Tune in to your child’s moods and experiences to ease transitions.
• Use humor. Make up funny words to describe what’s going on. Is it bath time or bedtime? Say, “It’s time for shmed, red, fed, head…… BED!”

Add Color Commentary 
What about when life throws your child a real knuckleball — a new baby, new home, or first or last day of school? Here’s how to help your child cope with the biggies:

• Field questions. Listen to your child’s fears. Step into his shoes. Take his issues seriously.
• Use comfort objects. Is your child going to child care? Have him bring a stuffed animal, blanket, or family photo.
• Read. Pick out a book about your big event.
• Go slowly. When possible, ease your child into new situations. Moving to a big bed? Put the new bed next to your child’s crib for awhile to prepare him.
• Be understanding, but firm.  Acknowledge that the transition may be hard, but it still needs to happen.

Show ‘Em How It’s Done
In the end, you are your child’s role model. Your child learns to handle change by observing how you do it. So, in the face of a fastball, remember to stay calm. And if you miss, do not throw your bat.

Special thanks to Nina Sazer O’Donnell, Kathy Hirsh-Pasek, PhD, and Fran Stott, PhD, for the generous donation of their valuable time and expertise in reviewing this edition of Bits of Understanding.

Civitas thanks Parents as Teachers, an international early childhood parent education and family support program, for their ongoing support. This Civitas tool was adapted for the Born Learning campaign.

© 2007 Civitas